A Developmentally Appropriate Approach to Counseling Children
Children communicate differently than adults. While adults often use words to share their thoughts and feelings, children naturally express themselves through play. Play therapy is a research-backed, developmentally appropriate form of counseling that uses the language of play to help children process emotions, solve problems, and develop healthy coping skills.
Play therapy is effective because it meets children where they are in their emotional and cognitive development. Through toys, art, games, and imaginative play, children can explore their inner world in a way that feels natural, safe, and engaging—without the pressure of finding the “right” words. Just as adults need a comfortable space to open up, children need an environment where their natural form of expression is respected and understood.
Who Can Benefit from Play Therapy?
Play therapy is most often used with children ages 3–10, but it can also be highly effective for older children, teens, and even adults when verbal communication alone is not enough. Adolescents who struggle with anxiety, trauma, social skills, or emotional regulation may benefit from incorporating play- or activity-based methods into therapy. Play therapy is also valuable for individuals with developmental delays, autism spectrum disorder, or other communication challenges, as it provides alternative ways to express and process emotions.
Nondirective vs. Directive Play Therapy
There are two primary approaches to play therapy:
- Nondirective Play Therapy is child-led, meaning the child chooses the activities and direction of the session. The therapist follows the child’s lead, creating a safe and accepting environment that allows the child to explore their feelings, develop problem-solving skills, and build self-confidence at their own pace.
- Directive Play Therapy is more structured. The therapist introduces specific activities, games, or creative projects designed to address particular goals, teach new skills, or help the child work through specific challenges.
At Dragonfly Therapeutic Services, we believe both approaches have value. We use a combination of directive and nondirective play therapy, tailoring the balance to each child’s unique personality, developmental level, and therapeutic needs. This flexible approach allows us to support your child in the way that will be most effective for them.
What Parents Can Expect
Most play therapy sessions last 35–45 minutes with your child, with a brief check-in with you either before or after the session, depending on what works best for your child’s needs. Throughout the course of therapy, your child’s therapist will provide general updates about their progress, share parent coaching and education to help you support your child at home, and discuss broad themes that emerge in your child’s play and behavior.
The Importance of the Child–Therapist Relationship
The relationship between your child and their therapist is central to the healing process. Trust, safety, and connection form the foundation of effective therapy. The playroom becomes a space where your child feels accepted and understood, which allows them to explore feelings, experiment with new behaviors, and build confidence.
Confidentiality and Communication
Confidentiality is a key part of therapy, even for children. To protect the therapeutic relationship and foster trust, therapists do not share specific details about what your child says or does during sessions unless there is a safety concern. This confidentiality allows your child to feel safe expressing themselves fully, knowing that their private play and words will be respected.
Regular communication between parents and the therapist is essential. If changes occur at home, school, or in your child’s life, sharing that information helps the therapist better support your child. Likewise, the therapist will work with you to develop strategies and tools you can use at home to reinforce growth outside of the playroom.
The Journey of Growth
Play therapy is not a “quick fix,” but a process that unfolds over time. As trust grows, children often show changes in behavior, mood, and self-confidence. Some improvements are subtle, others more obvious—but each step is part of a larger journey toward resilience and emotional well-being.
